It’s important to lay down the truth. And that’s exactly what I’m about to do.
We hold these food truths to be self-evident…
…that all foods are not created equal…
…that they are endowed by their Creator with certain qualities that make them taste a certain way, that among these are shape, vessel, and the pursuit of perfect ingredient harmony.
Here are 19 truths about the way we eat food that simply cannot be denied.
M&M’s don’t necessarily taste different, but you do have a different experience eating each color.
I’m not dumb. I know all M&M’s taste the same. But there’s something different about eating each color. You know it. I know it. And it’s time we all accept it.
Salads only taste good in restaurants.
You can make them with the exact same ingredients and pretend to shovel them down, but salads never taste as good at home as they do in restaurants. Period.
Mac and cheese with character shapes is far superior to mac and cheese with regular noodle shapes.
Duh. There are more nooks and crannies for the sauce to get in and sometimes you get a couple characters clumped together into one mega mac and cheese ball.
Juice tastes better out of pouches.
Boxes can kiss my a**. Juice pouches are where it’s at.
The next one is just generally true…
Food tastes better if it looks pretty.
We all know this, but we don’t always make the effort. Honestly, an extra second of plating will up your enjoyment factor ten-fold.
Food tastes better when it’s in cute shapes.
Picture this: You have a piece of watermelon. Would you rather eat a regular slice of watermelon or a piece of watermelon cut into the shape of a star? I rest my case.
Cereal tastes better out of a giant bowl in front of the television.
Bonus points if you bring the box over to the coffee table and read every inch of it while you shovel the cereal into your mouth.
Mini versions of food seem like a good idea, but they rarely are.
Mini versions of food are rarely as good and almost never better than the original. The only exception might be mini Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, but only the regular mini ones that are individually wrapped, not the mini-mini ones you use as fro-yo toppings.
Cooking spinach is an exercise in loss.
A bag of spinach could last you a few days if you’re using it for salads, or it could last you one, sad evening if you’re sautéing it for dinner.
The next one will have you nodding your head in understanding…
Fries taste better when they’re someone else’s.
Your own fries are great, but there’s something thrilling and dangerous about “stealing” one from a friend that just gives it that extra power.
String cheese tastes completely different depending on how you eat it.
If you’re a peeler, congratulations, you are correct. If you just bite it, you are a heathen and no one should trust you.
There is such a thing as too much avocado.
There, I said it. There’s an acceptable amount of avocado, and then there’s too much, where it overpowers the dish and all you taste is avocado and honestly, it can get kind of gross.
Grapes are best frozen.
Seriously, if you have not, try this immediately!
Frozen grapes are a revelation.
Sandwiches taste better when cut diagonally.
Obviously. This is so obvious it shouldn’t need to be said.
The next one, by the way, might be a little divisive…
Chips taste better straight from the bag.
Save your bowl. Chips taste better from the bag, anyway. Yeah, I mean it. Get your hand all greasy, stick your finger in the bottom corner to lap up all the crumbs. That’s the good stuff.
Soda tastes better out of a glass bottle
I’m not a huge soda drinker, but when I partake, there’s something extra refreshing about drinking it from an ice cold glass bottle.
Fruit tastes better when it’s sliced.
It is rare when a fruit doesn’t taste better sliced. Apples, pears, strawberries, bananas…I could go on, but I won’t.
Pizza tastes better off a paper plate while you’re standing in the street at 2 am.
If you’ve never had middle-of-the-night street pizza in the middle of New York City, you are severely missing out, my friend.
All food tastes better after you take a picture of it for Instagram.
This is just a fact.
Share this with someone who will understand these food truths like you do!
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